A day off!!

I wrote this a bit over a year ago, but think it still resonates...

Ok, so it has only taken a global pandemic and me being sick with a reasonably full on cold for me to able to actually get 2 days off to rest!

I think I slept for close to 10 hours last night. That would have to be the first time in 11 years. 11 years since I had a chance to actually sleep a long, restorative sleep. And to get up to a quiet house without the responsibility of care giving. No breakfast to make for anyone but me. No fighting and squabbling to resolve, or play dates or activities to facilitate or attend or provide transport. Ok, there is washing, but when is there not?

And thanks to quarantine, I cant go out and do chores, or shopping for other people. I am stuck. Actually stuck at home until I get the all imperative "negative" result.

So I have read the paper. Not a bit of the paper (which I acknowledge has happened a few times over the past few months with having Saturdays "off" (until 5 pm, and if you call doing all your chores that day a day off..), but I actually read all that I wanted to. Amazing. Who knew that was still possible?

And who knew it was possible to write.

To actually have that thought and follow through on it.

How long since I last opened this app? Not sure, but I'm guessing a year. It was 20/5/19. so more than a year!

And wow what a year!

And I still have a subtle feeling of guilt that I have read the paper and am sitting here at the computer. I still feel that its not the best use of my time, that there are other things I could be doing: the online patient registration for my daughter's sleep study (because clearly that is my job, as was the medical appointments and follow up and booking, and going with her), and the school registration for the youngest.

Yes, I could be cleaning out the fireplace since I had a fire a week ago. And I could be cleaning out the pantry which has needed it for about a year, and I just may do that later today. And I could be tiding the house, because no amount of tidying ever makes it not look like a tip. Or I could do this. Spend a bit of time, writing thoughts, and words on a page that no one may ever read. But at least I got some of it down, and who knows, maybe one day it will be a best seller..

"what I didn't achieve in my life, because I was a parent".

Is that a snappy title?

Clearly my healthy cynicism hasn't dissipated with marriage breakdown and covid world. Or my inane optimism that things will get better. And although I have about a 1% belief that anything will ever come of this writing, at least its 1% not zero and that my friends is apparently optimism.

Ok, so now I am rambling and its time to stop.

One day I will work out what I want to write about.

I might start my one poem per day book. That would be a good beginning...