Wow that’s kind of hard.

I’m kind of a private person who also wears her heart on her sleeve.

I am a conundrum - as many of us are.

Essentially at this point in my life I am a mum. And while I never thought I would define myself in such a singular way, I think that for the past 10 years+ that is really where it is at.

Perhaps this blog is a means of me trying to reach out and reclaim my sense of self and identity and the person who I was (and am and could be), who occasionally peers out from under the tarpaulin of being a parent.

I know other people manage to be a mum and keep their identity, and I applaud them. I also acknowledge those of us who have not had the capacity to do so often for reasons beyond our control. And I applaud you too, for your hard work and sacrifice.

There will be rantings and ramblings on this blog about being a parent, and how hard t is. But I also hope to move beyond that and engage in some other interesting and topical issues.

My aim is to share the travails and challenges and do so in an honest and open and supportive way that says its ok to be frustrated, tired, angry at life and injustices. And its ok to be happy and enjoying life. Its ok to be you and express who you are. I am not here to judge. However, I am sure I will be judged, and people will interpret what I say in their own special way. If I offend you, I apologize in advance. If I offend you, please don’t read on.

I do not intend to offend. I intend to be real and open. I will have opinions. And they may change. I like to think that is because I am open to learning and growing and understanding broader perspectives and knowledge.

Mostly I hope I can contribute to making you feel better or acknowledged or understood, and maybe even laugh a little. And maybe find a little bit of me along the way.

And maybe I will take you down a rabbit warren of tangential thinking about some obscurity of life. And if that distraction is helpful, then that is good also.

I am also open to suggestions/topics to write about.

I have a background in health and the arts - history and historical literature (the western canon- and I acknowledge the limitations of this). I have always been fascinated by gender. I am the most boring cisgender middle aged white female, so why the interest? Who knows why we develop the interests that we do? I think it grew out of a fundamental feminism that I had long before I knew the meaning of the word. And I know that for many, feminism is now a dirty word. (And I can write an essay about that, but that is not my aim here. If I do, I will post it.) For me it is a position I hold innately by virtue of identifying as female and by witnessing the gender divide in everyday life.

But from feminism rises a desire to understand and acknowledge how women have lived and experienced life and been treated through the centuries. And that includes as parents and partners. And from that grows the interest I think not just in gender relations but also in the gender spectrum and what does that mean for individuals and what does that mean for society and how do they fit, or not, with the binaries that we have grown up with. This is what interests me. The desire to interrogate and understand the past and acknowledge and appreciate those that have struggled and those that have challenged the boundaries, and in subtle and overt ways forged the path to where we are today. I hope for a gender fluid and hence all-inclusive society in the future. I think we are making progress and that is a great thing.

You will read about gender on this blog, and about other social topics of everyday life.

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 I hope you enjoy it.

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