Standards: I do have them, I just cant maintain them

Its not that I don't have standards.. I actually do. And unbeknown to many they are actually quite high.

A very wise friend kept telling me "you just need to lower your standards". I said I have, and she told me "you just need to lower your standards", and I did, and she said "you just need to lower your standards". So I did lower them, further and further, and further. In contrast to the Lorax who biggered and biggered, I have lowered and lowered and lowered and lowered to levels I never thought humanly/humanely possible.

Its hard to say..? In some ways letting go and lowering standards and living in mess and chaos is not good for my mental health. Yet working and raising kids and surviving and trying to do it all is not good for my mental health. Staying up til 2am so I can mow the lawn is far from appealing, and I doubt that even the most judgy of neighbours would appreciate my efforts at that time of night.. But given that most of the work I do for home life is after 10pm, there are not many options for lawn mowing if one bases priorities on a triage system reliant on kids' needs first..

I have always been a very neat, clean and organised person. I was making my bed and folding my clothes neatly since I was in primary school. Toys went away, as did books and other paraphernalia. Clothes were always away or in the laundry to be washed.

As an adult my house was orderly and clean.

I like order and cleanliness. And I like coming home to a place that is tidy and neat and, believe it or not- not cluttered!

Yep, I do have standards.

I just haven't had the time, support or resources to maintain them.

So next time you walk past my trailer trash house and judge me for the overgrown jungle of what is meant to be lawn and vestiges of dead and dying plants that I have insufficient time to water or treat with fertilizer water let alone talk to, and the junk yard of old scooters, bikes, prams, and firewood, remember just 2 things:

Ok make that 4:

1. The outside does not always reflect the inside

2. Sometimes people's lives are just shitty, and busy, and shitty

3. Some of these things are well meaning projects that haven't gotten funded yet (pram to cleaned and donated to a worthy cause)

4. Some of us are not only sorting our own shit, but still sorting the remnants (of which there are many) of the previous incarnation when 2 adults inhabited the space along with the 3 small needy and relentless children......

5. Sorry, yes 5. This one is my all time favourite so cant be omitted:

Walk a month in another woman's shoes before you cast judgement

And maybe after making that judgement about the ramshackle dysfunctional failure of a parent/neighbour, the next time you come you could bring your lawn mower or weeding gloves and give me a hand! I'm not fussy about your skills, basics are good. Just please leave the maple intact. Any knowledge of gardens will be better than mine. No need to announce yourself or feel obliged to chat. Consider it community service for me, and you, and the other trailer trash hating people in the hood.

Oh, and finally:

I too live in hope that one day, one day hopefully soon, these days of no /low standards will be subject to the influence of time and will pass like the thunderclouds. And when the sun comes out, there will be the sunshine of order and neatness and standards achieved and maintained both inside and out. ....But, just between you and me... I will always need help with the garden!